Navigating Uncertainty with My Vision
I appreciate your understanding as I navigate my situation, and I hope my message resonates, despite my struggles with English which I've translated. I’d like to share my experience, which I believe may have neurological underpinnings since all tests have come back clear from an ophthalmological standpoint. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find a suitable forum focused on neurological and visual concerns for my personal story, which is why I’m posting here. I wouldn't normally seek help this way unless I felt completely lost.
As an 18-year-old woman from Mexico, I've dealt with asthmatic rhinitis since infancy, but it has remained inactive since I was around 11 years old. Additionally, I faced challenges with depression and anxiety, which led to being treated with fluoxetine (2-4mg daily) for over three years, from ages 13 to 16, primarily due to isolation and a dependency on my phone. While my depression was concerning, I managed to improve, stop the medication, and move forward with life. Besides these issues, I have been fortunate enough to have no other known health complications.
Prior to 2022, I had no vision issues; I never wore glasses and my eyesight was perfectly normal. However, that changed when I was 15, just as I was beginning to regain my footing after battling depression. I had returned to school and felt optimistic about my future until I started experiencing fatigue in my vision. Over time, it progressed to where I struggled to focus on objects at a distance, and ultimately, I began experiencing horizontal double vision. It felt as though each eye was processing its own image rather than merging them together. This binocular diplopia would vanish if I closed one eye, allowing me to see things clearly if they were about a meter away or if I tilted my head slightly upward.
Concerned, I informed my parents repeatedly, but they didn’t take my complaints seriously. After much persuasion, I managed to visit an ophthalmologist, who confirmed that my eyes appeared healthy but indicated a potential neurological issue. Unfortunately, my father dismissed the idea of further examination by a neuro-ophthalmologist on account of cost. My pleas fell on deaf ears, as he responded with frustration, just like my mother, leaving me to adapt to these sudden changes as best I could. I adjusted my lifestyle significantly, yet the constant strain of coping with this condition led me to drop out of school again. I focused on survival and adaptation, despite feeling restricted.
While I initially coped with the binocular diplopia and adjustments, I became aware that the distance at which I could see clearly without double vision was diminishing. With no other options, I continued to hope for a resolution while returning to school, still battling this complication.
Recently, developments took a turn for the worse. My diplopia persisted, but new symptoms emerged, starting with sudden blurred vision that lasted intensely for about four weeks before slightly stabilizing. As I tried to adjust to this change, I noticed another unusual symptom: letters on the board started to cast shadows, creating a phantom image beneath them. This shadow effect escalated rapidly. To compound my challenges, the horizontal diplopia became more pronounced, and the range of clear vision without it continued to shrink, rendering the posture adjustments I had relied on ineffective. I also began to struggle with maintaining focus, feeling as though my eyes were unable to fixate properly. I worry this might be another form of vertical diplopia affecting both eyes, which does not alleviate even when one eye is closed.
In the last two weeks, my right eye has begun to feel odd, accompanied by a decline in my visual acuity. This deterioration has once again taken a significant toll on my mental health. After an impassioned appeal, my father finally agreed to take me for a new evaluation. A week ago, another ophthalmologist echoed the previous findings from four years back: my eyes are structurally sound in an ophthalmological sense, and the underlying issue appears to be neurological.
I find myself at a loss, uncertain how to cope with the daily challenges posed by these alarming developments. The myriad of distressing symptoms leaves me feeling trapped and overwhelmed. My mother is unable to find work, and my father, despite having a stable job, chooses to disengage from the situation. I’ve exhausted my efforts in seeking his help, and the lack of support weighs heavily on me. As I try to continue my education and juggle this situation, I'm filled with fear as I sense this condition is advancing quickly and unpredictably. The confusion surrounding my physical health has spiraled downward into mental distress once more, and I am deeply frightened.