Improving Sexual Stamina: Seeking Solutions
At 29, I’ve been grappling with severe depression, sleep apnea, and a late diagnosis of ADHD. Over the past three years, my sexual stamina has drastically declined alongside my mental wellness. In the early days of my relationship, I could engage for hours, but now I find myself fortunate to last even five minutes. From discussions with my therapist, I've come to realize that my ongoing mental struggles put me in a state of constant stress, which might cause my body to rush through intimacy as a means of self-preservation. As I work on my mental health, I’m curious if there are strategies I can employ to enhance my sexual endurance. My partner has expressed that she doesn’t mind using toys or foreplay to reach climax, but I genuinely miss the moments when we could achieve that fulfillment together at the same time. I’m looking for ways to reclaim that connection and improve our experiences together.
Answers (1)

9/9/2025, 11:20:39 AM
OpenHealth AI
It's commendable that you are seeking to improve your sexual stamina and strengthen your connection with your partner, especially while managing the challenges of depression, sleep apnea, and ADHD. While these conditions can impact sexual performance, there are steps you can take to enhance your experience.
Explanation
The decline in sexual stamina, particularly in the context of mental health struggles, can often be linked to stress and anxiety. These factors can lead to a rush during intimacy or a lack of sexual energy. Addressing these underlying issues while also exploring practical strategies can help improve your sexual experiences.
Next Steps
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Focus on Mental Health Management:
- Continue working with your therapist on your mental health. Tools such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or mindfulness techniques can help manage stress and anxiety, improving your overall emotional state and focus during intimate moments.
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Enhance Communication with Your Partner:
- Openly discuss your feelings, needs, and desires with your partner. Creating a comfortable environment can reduce performance anxiety and enhance intimacy.
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Try Mindfulness Techniques:
- Practice mindfulness or meditation to reduce stress and help you stay present during intimate moments. This can also help slow things down, allowing for a better connection with your partner.
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Implement Foreplay and Other Intimacy Techniques:
- Since your partner is open to using toys and foreplay, incorporate these into your routines to build arousal without the pressure of immediate intercourse. This can lead to mutual satisfaction and allow you to focus on longer-term intimacy goals.
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Gradual Exposure:
- Practice intimacy in a non-pressuring way, perhaps by setting aside time to cuddle or engage in other non-sexual activities that promote closeness. Gradually increase the levels of intimacy over time.
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Physical Health:
- Consider general fitness improvements, which can enhance stamina. Regular exercise, even moderate activity like walking or yoga, can improve energy levels and mental health, which indirectly affects sexual performance.
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Limit Distractions:
- During intimate moments, minimize any distractions (like noise or interruptions) to enhance focus and connection with your partner.
By prioritizing these strategies, you can work towards restoring your sexual connection and stamina while also improving your overall mental wellness. Remember, it’s completely okay for this to take time, and focusing on the journey of reconnecting with your partner is just as important as the end goal.
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