OpenHealth Q&A

Am I Experiencing PTSD Symptoms?

Age: 18. Height: 5'4", Weight: 151 lbs. Ethnicity: Middle Eastern descent. Previous mental health diagnoses include: depression and social anxiety. I appreciate your patience as I share my journey. My struggles with mental health span several years, beginning at the age of 13. I've consulted with two therapists thus far, currently seeing the second one but finding it difficult to continue due to feelings of shame and anxiety about scheduling an appointment. During my first therapy session at 14, I voiced my worries about potentially suffering from PTSD, stemming from my experiences in Iraq during my formative years. Growing up surrounded by war and conflict, I was exposed to traumatic situations that no child should face. However, I later reflected that my assertions of having PTSD might have been a search for attention. I didn't recall feeling significantly affected by the war as I was born just after the worst of it, following the Iraq War launched in 2003. So, the roots of my concerns were somewhat puzzling. I somehow convinced myself I had PTSD, leading to self-induced symptoms, such as regularly experiencing flashbacks and flinching at the sound of fireworks. Eventually, those symptoms faded as if I had staged a dramatic exit. Now, at 18, I find it increasingly challenging to remember my early years in Iraq. My memory seems to have blocked out much of that period, relying on stories from my twin sister, who has a clearer recollection but hesitates to share certain memories, knowing the impact they might have on me. This background serves as context for my recent struggles, as I believe the remnants of PTSD have resurfaced with greater intensity. I have been dealing with significant trauma accumulating from a toxic and abusive household throughout my life. Upon reaching 18, I began experiencing symptoms that I didn't initially identify as PTSD-related—specifically, intrusive flashbacks of my abuser’s voice echoing in my mind, feeling almost like auditory hallucinations. These episodes predominantly occur at night when I can focus, but occasionally, during the day—such as when I was watching a biology documentary—I’ve had to pause and collect myself due to unexpected flashbacks. For weeks at a time, I’ve encountered these symptoms repeatedly, often coupled with nightmares, followed by periods of silence when nothing occurs. Currently, living in the same abusive environment exacerbates my condition, as triggers lead to immediate panic or flashback episodes. I emphasize the severity of my situation: in the past, I convinced myself of having PTSD, merely scratching the surface of symptoms. Now, it physically impacts me. Flashbacks manifest in constricted chest sensations and heightened panic attacks. I find myself hyper-alert; when my abuser raises their voice, I make a concerted effort to leave the room or mentally dissociate to avoid experiencing further trauma that may lead to future flashbacks. I contend with trauma-blocking, and when a forgotten memory resurfaces during a flashback, it overwhelms me to the point where panic intensifies. My most severe episode involved an intrusive and persistent auditory hallucination from my past so damaging that I screamed in response and struck my head against the fridge in a futile attempt to silence it. My current therapist is aware of all these experiences and recognizes my symptoms as indicative of PTSD; however, she is unable to offer a formal diagnosis. I am on a waiting list for a specialist who can provide that assessment. During my initial evaluation with a psychiatrist, my symptoms were dismissed and categorized as “intrusive thoughts,” perpetuating the misunderstanding that PTSD only afflicts war veterans, which left me feeling incredibly invalidated and spiraled me into distress following that consultation. Thank you for taking the time to read my detailed account. I welcome any insights or responses you may have.

Answers (1)

8/3/2025, 7:31:03 AM

OpenHealth AI

Thank you for sharing your story; it takes a lot of courage to do so. It sounds like you are experiencing distressing symptoms that greatly affect your daily life. Although I can't provide a formal diagnosis, your symptoms suggest you may be experiencing aspects of PTSD or trauma-related distress. Let's explore this further and identify steps you can take.

Understanding Your Situation

PTSD can develop after experiencing or witnessing traumatic events, and it is not limited to military-related trauma. Symptoms often include:

• Intrusive memories or flashbacks
• Hyper-vigilance or feeling easily startled
• Avoidance of triggers that remind you of the trauma
• Difficulty sleeping or nightmares

Your experiences with auditory hallucinations and feelings of panic align with how PTSD can manifest, especially when triggered by reminders of trauma. It’s important to acknowledge and validate these symptoms and their impact.

Prioritized Steps for Managing Your Symptoms

1. Continue Therapy:

   • Stick with your current therapist, and try to express your feelings about attending sessions and the sense of shame you feel. This can build trust and foster a supportive environment. Communication is key in a therapeutic relationship.

2. Grounding Techniques:

   • Practice simple grounding techniques when you feel flashbacks or panic starting. This can include focusing on your breathing (inhale deeply for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4), counting objects in the room, or using your senses to anchor yourself (e.g., feeling the texture of an object).

3. Journaling:

   • Write down your feelings and experiences. This may help process your emotions and memories without overwhelming you. You can also note what triggers your symptoms; this can be useful for your therapist to guide your treatment.

4. Develop a Support System:

   • If possible, identify a trusted friend or family member who can support you. Sharing your feelings with someone who listens can provide relief and validation.

5. Limit Exposure to Triggers:

   • While it's not always possible to avoid your abuser or your environment, think about ways to create safe spaces. This could be a room or even a particular activity that provides comfort and a sense of safety.

6. Educate Yourself:

   • Understanding more about PTSD can empower you and reduce feelings of isolation. Resources from reputable organizations like the National Center for PTSD can offer helpful information.

7. Mindfulness and Relaxation:

   • Engage in mindfulness practices or relaxation exercises to help alleviate anxiety. This can be through apps designed for meditation or simple breathing exercises.

Remember:

It’s crucial to keep your appointments with mental health professionals, especially since you're on a waiting list for a specialist. If you ever feel overwhelmed or in crisis, don’t hesitate to reach out for immediate support through a crisis hotline or by contacting a trusted individual.

Your feelings are valid, and taking proactive steps can help you find relief and empowerment along your journey. You’re not alone, and there is support available for you to heal and move forward.