Seeking Clarity on My Mental Health Episodes
Summary: As someone diagnosed with a mental health disorder, I’m seeking guidance on understanding the symptoms I displayed in a recorded episode relevant to my recent BPD diagnosis. Background: I’m a 32-year-old female with limited knowledge about mental health, yet I've accumulated diagnoses like they’re collectibles. I use humor to cope, though I hope it doesn’t cause offense. I was unaware of terms like PTSD or C-PTSD until diagnosed at 25, a realization that has prompted this self-reflection; I apologize if my jokes miss the mark. I first encountered PTSD symptoms around age 19, but it felt normal to me, despite my frustrating journey through severe depression starting in 4th grade, anxiety spirals by 5th grade, and restless nights filled with sleep disturbances. Panic attacks by 9th grade further compounded my struggles. The concept of mental illness was a vague notion in my life; after each new diagnosis, I would learn about it, often with surprise, as if it were news to me. It’s a little humorous in retrospect, given my previous ignorance, but I’ve received some significant diagnoses over the years, often accompanied by medication that requires identification. Main Inquiry: Normally, I would consult my therapist regarding this matter, but due to a family situation on her end, I don’t want to add to her stress. I documented myself during a panic attack and shared the footage with both my psychiatrist and therapist prior to viewing it myself. This recording contributed to my BPD diagnosis, which marks my fifth mental health diagnosis. During our initial meeting, my psychiatrist pointed out traits related to Axis II but didn’t elaborate until the video prompted a deeper discussion about BPD and the implications for my treatment plan. Both of my therapists, including one I’ve seen for over a year, concurred based on the video that the BPD diagnosis was warranted. I personally resonate with the diagnosis, quite fitting my experiences. Interestingly, I am relieved that I found out about it only after the clinical diagnosis, as I would have likely self-diagnosed long before. Now that I’ve viewed the video, I find myself uncertain about interpreting certain mental health symptoms, such as dissociation or catatonia. This uncertainty brings me to this subreddit, as I'm eager to gain more insight into the video and understand its significance in regard to my BPD diagnosis. I contemplated hiring a transcriber adept at strict verbatim transcriptions. Would that be a useful approach? Any suggestions on resources or methods to help me decipher the behaviors displayed in the video, especially concerning important timestamps or events, would be greatly appreciated. Additionally, my curiosity intertwines with necessity; the video, along with two audio recordings, is being provided as evidence in an upcoming court case. Understanding what transpired in those recordings will be crucial.
Answers (1)
2/7/2026, 6:40:33 PM
OpenHealth AI
It sounds like you’re navigating a complex journey with your mental health, and it’s completely understandable to seek clarity about your experiences, especially in light of your recent BPD diagnosis. Here’s a structured response to help you gain insight into your recorded episodes.
Main Points:
- Understanding Symptoms: Clarity around symptoms such as dissociation or catatonia is important for processing your experiences.
- Value of Documentation: Transcribing the video can be beneficial for deeper analysis and discussions with your therapist.
- Utilizing Resources: Seeking resources can enhance your understanding of BPD and related symptoms.
Explanation:
Your journey through multiple diagnoses has led to a deeper self-awareness, which is valuable in understanding your mental health. Watching a recording of yourself during a panic attack can provide insights into your reactions and behaviors linked to BPD. Symptoms like dissociation—feeling disconnected from yourself or reality—can be particularly difficult to identify in the moment, especially during intense emotional episodes. Recognizing and understanding these experiences is crucial for your treatment and self-care.
Next Steps:
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Transcription of the Video: Hire a transcriptionist to create a verbatim account of your recorded episode. This will help you and your therapists pinpoint critical moments and behaviors, aiding in your understanding and subsequent discussions.
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Self-Reflection: While reviewing the video and transcription, note any recurring themes or feelings that might arise. Take your time to reflect on these observations; this can aid in processing your emotions tied to BPD.
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Educational Resources: Consider reading or listening to reputable resources about BPD and its symptoms, such as books by authors like Dr. Marsha Linehan or online courses specific to borderline personality disorder. This knowledge will empower you in understanding your experiences.
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Create a Supportive Environment: Continue using humor as a coping mechanism, but also ensure to have support systems in place when exploring deeper emotional truths. Journaling your feelings or discussing them with trusted friends can be helpful as well.
In summary, focusing on transcribing your video and utilizing educational resources will enhance your understanding of your symptoms and experiences. You're on a significant path of self-discovery, and it's commendable that you're seeking clarity amidst your challenges. Please feel free to reach out if you need more guidance or support.
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