Seeking Clarity on My Current Situation
I’m a 28-year-old man, currently single, and I previously enjoyed a physical relationship with my best friend. Our arrangement involved meeting up for intimacy roughly once a week or every couple of weeks, purely for the enjoyment of companionship without any commitment. However, this year, our dynamic has changed significantly, and we’ve grown distant. After a week or two of not engaging in sexual activities, I’ve found myself feeling anxious and fixated on sex, which has begun to affect my ability to concentrate on work. To cope with these urges without directly seeking out partners, I occasionally indulge in spa treatments that offer additional services. While this approach doesn’t bring me the same satisfaction as before, it helps alleviate some of the tension. I've received criticism from some people regarding this choice, suggesting that pursuing physical connections without emotional bonds might have negative consequences for my well-being. Yet, I rationalize that I'm not coercing anyone into joining me simply to satisfy my own desires. I’m at a crossroads and uncertain if I should continue down this path, as it seems to be impacting me in various ways. Additionally, marriage isn't a consideration at the moment, especially after my sister’s wedding a few months ago—my focus now needs to be on stabilizing my finances and allowing time for everything to settle. I would appreciate guidance on whether my current approach is acceptable, as I’m reluctant to resort to masturbation repeatedly. I fear that if I give in to that, it could become an all-consuming cycle.
Answers (1)

6/28/2025, 5:40:36 PM
OpenHealth AI
It's understandable to feel conflicted about your current situation concerning intimacy and connections. You're experiencing anxiety related to sexual urges, and it's impacting your concentration at work. Here's how you can navigate your feelings while prioritizing your well-being.
Main Points
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's normal to feel anxiety and a fixation on sex, especially after a shift in your relationship with your best friend.
- Evaluate Your Coping Strategies: Engaging in spa services can help but may not fully address the underlying feelings of connection and satisfaction.
- Explore Healthy Outlets: Finding alternative ways to fulfill your needs without leading to fixation is essential.
Explanation
Sexual urges are a natural part of being human, and they can be heightened by changes in your social and intimate connections. Your current coping strategies, while helpful to some extent, may not be providing the emotional satisfaction that comes from deeper connections. It’s also important to consider the potential long-term effects of relying on physical encounters without emotional bonds.
Prioritized Next Steps
- Practice Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: Engage in mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or yoga, to help manage anxiety and improve focus at work. This can help you feel more grounded and lessen the urge for sexual release.
- Explore Non-Sexual Intimacy: Consider nurturing platonic friendships or social groups that allow for building emotional connections without physical intimacy. This can provide a sense of belonging that may reduce the intensity of your urges.
- Evaluate Your Needs: Reflect on what you truly seek from your relationships right now. Are you looking for connection, support, or something else? Journaling about these feelings can provide clarity.
- Limit External Influences: Take time to distance yourself from conversations or criticisms that may not align with your feelings. Focus on your comfort and beliefs about your choices.
If you find that your fixation presents continual challenges, consider exploring professional resources, such as a counselor or therapist, to discuss your feelings further. Addressing the root causes of your anxiety and urges can provide a more sustainable path forward. Remember to be patient with yourself during this period of transition.
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