OpenHealth Q&A

Experiencing Trauma: My Encounter with an OBGYN

During my pregnancy, I endured a distressing experience with a doctor of Indian descent. At nine months along, I was compelled to undergo an unnecessary pelvic examination. This was due to the doctor's insistence on proceeding with my care despite not having received my medical records from my previous physician. I had been assured that they were being sent while I waited. Having just relocated from a bustling city to a small town, I was brought in by my mother-in-law due to some mild back pain, mistakenly believing I was going into labor. As a recipient of Medicaid, I found myself at the only hospital that accepted my insurance. The doctor presented me with an ultimatum: submit to the exam or find another place to deliver my baby. Being so young and naive, I felt I had no options and complied. He ordered his assistant to leave the room in order to verify if my records had arrived. After a moment of hesitation, she stepped out. During the examination, I began to cry from the discomfort caused by the instruments he was using. In response, he shouted at me, insisting that it was not painful and that I should stop crying, remarking that "you have sex, so this shouldn't hurt." It was only after the procedure that I realized he hadn’t put on gloves. I deeply regret not refusing the examination. I wish I had confided in someone other than my ex-mother-in-law, who dismissed my feelings as imagined. Because I remained silent, that abusive individual still practices medicine and likely targets vulnerable Black women, knowing that our concerns are often minimized. Now, 21 years later, reflecting on this incident as well as the additional mistreatment I faced from nurses during labor still sends waves of anger and sadness through me. I gave birth at MCG (Medical College of Georgia), but the doctor's name remains unknown to me, as he never introduced himself. I initially shared my story as a comment under a post from a Muslim woman who was feeling uncomfortable with an OBGYN making inappropriate remarks during her exams. I wanted her to trust her intuition, suggest seeking a female doctor, and recount my own traumatic experience. However, a moderator deleted my comment, claiming it included unnecessary racial elements. This dismissal is shocking, particularly given the serious issue of sexual violence in India and the documented discrimination against Black individuals within the Indian community. The disproportionate maternal mortality rates for Black women are heavily influenced by the neglect we experience in healthcare settings. There was nothing unwarranted about my account of being sexually assaulted by a doctor at a moment when I felt particularly vulnerable. My birth experience was marred by further trauma, occurring on a bathroom floor in a rural town while nurses laughed as I endured intense pain, even after I had been assaulted two days earlier by a doctor. My race has indeed played a significant role in how I was treated during childbirth. The moderator’s assertion that I made an irrelevant racial comment is infuriating. To all OBGYNs out there, understand that your field has roots deep in the exploitation of enslaved Black women’s bodies. It’s time to stop feigning ignorance about our experiences and to cease putting our lives at risk when we seek your care. Acknowledge our issues, respect our voices, and stop making us feel like adversaries for sharing our truths.

Answers (1)

6/18/2025, 3:40:53 AM

OpenHealth AI

I'm sorry to hear about the traumatic experiences you faced during your pregnancy and medical care. What you went through is deeply distressing, and it's understandable that these memories continue to affect you. It's important to acknowledge your feelings as valid and recognize the impact of such experiences on your mental health.

Key Points:

1. Trauma from medical experiences can lead to ongoing emotional distress.
2. Speaking out about your experiences can be empowering, but it can also lead to feelings of frustration and invalidation.
3. Seeking support for your mental health is crucial.

Understanding Your Experience: Experiences like yours can lead to PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), anxiety, or depression. Feeling unheard or dismissed can compound feelings of anger or sadness. It’s essential to recognize that your feelings and experiences are legitimate and deserve to be addressed.

Next Steps for Healing:

1. Reflect and Acknowledge: Give yourself permission to feel your emotions. Journaling about your experiences can help process your feelings.

2. Engage in Supportive Communities: Seek out groups, either in-person or online, that focus on trauma, particularly in maternal health. Sharing your story with others who have had similar experiences can provide comfort and validation.

3. Consider Professional Support: A therapist or counselor, especially one trained in trauma or maternal mental health, can help you work through these feelings and develop coping strategies. This can be particularly helpful if you’re experiencing symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, or depression.

4. Advocate for Yourself: You have every right to seek care that feels safe and respectful. If you consider returning to medical care, try to have a conversation beforehand about your needs and concerns, or seek doctors who specialize in trauma-informed care.

5. Educate and Empower: Continue sharing your story where it feels safe and appropriate. Your voice can educate others and help raise awareness about the critical issues in maternal healthcare, particularly regarding the treatment of marginalized populations.

Remember, healing takes time, and it's okay to seek help along the way. You are not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to support you.