Navigating Unease After Disclosing My Sexuality to My Doctor
To provide some context, I’m a 33-year-old woman living with Cystic Fibrosis, which means I have frequent interactions with healthcare providers. I recently started seeing a new primary care physician, whom I’ve known since November. She is relatively young, likely around my age, and I genuinely find her to be quite competent. I do have a CF center and team, but it’s located a couple of hours from my home, which complicates things. I apologize in advance; this may be lengthy. Now to the crux of the matter. A few days ago, I visited my doctor for a follow-up regarding some issues with my blood pressure. During this appointment, I also mentioned that I had been experiencing sharp and increasingly intense pain in my lower left abdomen for over a month. Given my history with Cystic Fibrosis, I expressed my concerns that this could be a case of Distal Intestinal Obstruction Syndrome (DIOS), although the sensation felt somewhat different from past episodes. My doctor suggested we start with an X-ray, and if that didn’t pinpoint the issue, we would then proceed with an ultrasound. This approach seemed reasonable to me. Then, she inquired whether there was any possibility of my being pregnant. I chuckled and replied, “Not a chance.” She pressed, asking, “Are you sure?” To which I jokingly retorted, “Unless it’s the baby Jesus, I’m definitely not pregnant.” She laughed lightly and asked, “So, are you refusing a pregnancy test?” I clarified that I didn’t mind taking the test; it just felt unnecessary given my situation. She nodded, indicating that it was just protocol to ensure we covered all bases. As I attempted to lighten the mood, I said, “I understand, but I’m gay, so pregnancy isn’t a concern for me.” At that moment, the atmosphere shifted. Her expression changed noticeably, and she seemed flustered as she stammered over her words. Her response was awkward, as she clumsily continued to assure me that regardless of my sexual activity, the pregnancy test was still necessary. I attempted to reassure her that I understood. She then quickly wrapped up our conversation, standing up abruptly and giving the impression that she wanted to exit the room as soon as possible. While her actions were not overtly negative, the transformation in her body language and demeanor was striking; it was evident that her comfort level had shifted. I don’t typically disclose my sexual orientation with every healthcare provider I see, but this wasn’t the first time I had shared that I’m gay. However, her reaction was unlike anything I had previously encountered, and it left me feeling somewhat uneasy. Now, I’m uncertain about how to move forward. If she harbors discomfort with the LGBTQ+ community, then I wouldn’t feel safe continuing as her patient. Yet, it’s important to note that she didn’t explicitly say anything prejudicial; her change in demeanor was the primary source of my concern. I’d like to think she was simply preoccupied with her next patient, but I doubt that explanation adequately captures the situation. Should I confront her about my feelings during our next appointment, or might that open a can of worms—especially if her reaction had nothing to do with my orientation? Is it prudent to assume she has an issue with LGBTQ+ individuals and start searching for another doctor? Or, should I try to brush off this discomfort and trust that it won’t affect my medical care? I would really appreciate any insights or advice on this matter. Thank you!
Answers (1)
6/17/2025, 4:01:49 AM
OpenHealth AI
I understand that you’re feeling uneasy after disclosing your sexuality to your new physician, and it’s completely normal to want reassurance in such a situation. It’s important that you feel comfortable and safe with your healthcare provider, especially given your unique medical needs.
Key Points:
- You've experienced an awkward response from your doctor after disclosing your sexual orientation, leading to concerns about her comfort level with the LGBTQ+ community.
- Evaluating your healthcare relationship is crucial for your ongoing medical support and mental well-being.
Explanation:
Healthcare providers are trained to respect patients from all backgrounds; however, reactions can vary. It’s possible your doctor reacted to your comment in a way that caused you discomfort, but it doesn’t necessarily indicate prejudice. There might be other factors at play, such as her professionalism or anxiety about managing your health conditions.
Next Steps:
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Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to consider how significant this incident feels to you. If it continues to bother you, that’s an important indicator that it's worth addressing.
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Consider Open Communication: If you decide to continue seeing her, consider having a candid conversation during your next appointment. You might say something like, “I felt there was a shift in our conversation when I mentioned my orientation, and I want to ensure we have a comfortable relationship moving forward.” This could provide clarity and help you both understand any miscommunication.
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Evaluate the Necessity of Change: Should you feel uncomfortable after the next appointment, or if her reaction seems to persist, it might be worthwhile to start looking for another provider with a solid understanding of LGBTQ+ issues. Research local physicians or clinics that have supportive environments for LGBTQ+ patients.
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Prioritize Comfort in Healthcare: Whichever route you choose, ensure that your annual follow-ups and conditions related to Cystic Fibrosis are properly managed. Your emotional well-being is as vital as your physical health.
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Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to talk to friends or a support group who can provide perspective on your situation. They may have insights or shared experiences that can help you navigate your feelings.
Remember, your health and comfort are paramount, so trust your instincts about what feels right for you moving forward. Thank you for sharing your experience—it's important you're feeling heard and supported during this process.
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