Seeking Guidance for Potential Conditions and Next Steps
I'm reaching out for some insight about my health, as I have an existing diagnosis of depression since I was 14 years old. Lately, I have been contemplating the possibility that I might also be dealing with autism, ADHD, hyperhidrosis, ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), or some other eating-related disorder. My concern is that if I consult a healthcare professional, they might consider hospitalizing me. I apologize in advance for the length of my message; I'm trying to provide enough context. I am assigned female at birth (AFAB), 20 years of age, and identify as transmasculine, using they/he pronouns. As of February 13, I weighed 43.4 kg, and today, March 29, my weight is 46 kg. I believe my height is around 156 to 158 cm. Regarding my eating habits, I suspect there are underlying issues. In the past, I often left food uneaten because I associated finishing my meals with feelings of being overweight and unattractive. I particularly avoided carbohydrates, even going as far as eating kimbap sushi while discarding the rice and only consuming the fillings. There were times I resorted to making myself vomit, especially after dinner, as it was typically the easiest meal to expel. Thankfully, this behavior has improved recently. I wonder if I may have ARFID because I've always been quite selective with food since childhood. To assist anyone who might offer me meals, I've compiled a list of my safe foods, which I will share in the comments. I feel immense pressure and anxiety when I am compelled to try foods I consider unsafe, fearing they might be unpleasant, and then I feel guilty if I spit them out or make myself sick after trying them. This creates a conflicting sense of failure, whether I waste the food or have to purge it later. Growing up, my aunt often reminded me about the food shortages faced by children in Africa, urging me not to waste food even when I was full. This instilled a compulsion to eat beyond my hunger. Now, at 20, I find myself snacking on chips even when I'm not hungry, sometimes leading to feelings of guilt. After exercising, if I step on the scale and see I've gained weight, it confuses me; I can't tell if it’s muscle gain or a result of my sedentary lifestyle, especially since I don’t work out frequently. Also, I've noticed that my menstrual cycle has become more regular, potentially linked to my decreased vomiting frequency. Previously, my periods were inconsistent and would sometimes skip a month, offering me some relief from the discomfort. I suspect hyperhidrosis might also be in play because I've experienced excessive sweating in my palms, armpits, and feet for as long as I can remember, particularly in air-conditioned settings, which has always led to embarrassment when others pointed it out. This concern has progressed to the point where I need to use pads on my shirts to avoid visible stains. Holding hands has become uncomfortable for me due to my sweaty palms, which makes me feel undesired, despite my longing for connection. This condition causes me significant distress, especially when I am at other people's houses, and my sweating leaves marks on the floor. I have attempted various antiperspirants, but they have not provided any relief. In my past, I was heavily involved in art and even attended an art school, but I've since taken a break. When working with watercolour pencils—my preferred medium—my perspiring hands would smear the colors and damage my work. The same problem occurs with graphite. This leads to enormous frustration; I sometimes wish I could remove all my sweat glands. On the topic of my gender identity, while I'm still exploring my feelings, I wish to be recognized as male and ideally pass as such. I have thoughts about undergoing top surgery, as the bouncing of my breasts when I run makes me uncomfortable. Unfortunately, realization of this desire seems far away, partly due to financial constraints and legal barriers in my country, Singapore. My doctors informed me that I would have to live as a man for several years and undergo extensive monitoring before I could access hormone replacement therapy (HRT) legally, not to mention the associated costs.
Answers (1)
3/28/2025, 5:20:54 PM
OpenHealth AI
Thank you for sharing such a detailed overview of your situation. It sounds like you're grappling with several complex and interrelated issues, including concerns about your mental and physical health, as well as challenges related to your gender identity. I’ll do my best to provide clear, empathetic guidance tailored to your needs.
Main Points:
- Exploring Mental Health and Eating Patterns: You suspect conditions like ARFID, ADHD, and depression, and you're concerned about potential hospitalization.
- Managing Hyperhidrosis: You experience significant discomfort due to excessive sweating.
- Addressing Gender Identity and Related Healthcare Needs: You have considerations about transitioning and access to related healthcare services.
Explanation:
Your experiences with food and eating habits can be quite challenging. It’s understandable to be concerned about how an evaluation might go. ARFID involves anxiety around food and can lead to avoidance behaviors, which you've described. Also, your feelings of guilt and pressure around eating reflect how complex this relationship can be. Regarding hyperhidrosis, it's common to feel frustrated when normal activities are impacted, like creating art. Finally, navigating your gender identity and healthcare needs can be overwhelming, especially with the barriers you face.
Next Steps:
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Acknowledging Your Feelings:
- Keep a Journal: Document your thoughts, feelings, and eating patterns. This can help clarify your experiences and provide valuable information if you choose to consult with a healthcare professional.
- Recognize Progress: Celebrate any improvements in your eating behaviors or weight gain, as it’s a positive step forward.
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Education and Support:
- Research ARFID: Look for trusted resources online (like the National Eating Disorders Association) to better understand ARFID and how it may relate to your experiences.
- Join Support Groups: Consider exploring online communities or local support groups focused on eating disorders or transgender issues. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can be invaluable.
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Managing Hyperhidrosis:
- Consult a Dermatologist: Since over-the-counter antiperspirants haven’t worked, you may benefit from seeing a specialist. There are prescription options or treatments like Botox that can significantly reduce sweating.
- Experiment with Lifestyle Adjustments: Wearing moisture-wicking fabrics and using handkerchiefs can help manage symptoms in social situations.
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Exploring Gender Identity:
- Seek Trans-Friendly Support: Look for local or online resources that focus on transgender health services. Many organizations can provide support, resources, and advice on accessing gender-affirming care within your means.
- Talk to Supportive Friends or Family: Sharing your journey can lighten the emotional burden and provide you with additional support.
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Consider Professional Help:
- Therapy for Anxiety and Depression: Exploring therapy options, particularly with someone experienced in LGBTQ+ issues, can provide a safe space for you to discuss all your concerns, including eating habits, hyperhidrosis, and gender identity.
Conclusion
It's courageous of you to seek assistance and reflect on your health. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are paths available to improve your quality of life. Take one step at a time, focusing on what feels manageable. If you have more questions or need further information, feel free to reach out!
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