OpenHealth Q&A

Navigating Through Addiction and Mental Health Struggles

I am a 34-year-old man, weighing 177 pounds and standing at 6 feet tall. My current medications include Suboxone, Lyrica, quetiapine, Lamictal, Keppra, Prozac, Wellbutrin, and labetalol. My foremost challenges lie within the realm of mental health; I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder and Major Depressive Disorder with schizoaffective traits. However, the past six months have been particularly harrowing, as I have attempted to take my own life three times. On one occasion, I ingested 55 extra-strength acetaminophen pills. This landed me in psychiatric care for a month. Another serious attempt involved me trying to hang myself using thick wire, but thankfully, my former employer found me quickly and managed to cut me down before it was too late. Despite this intervention, I later found a way to exit the treatment prematurely. My third attempt was even more dire; I consumed a dangerously high quantity of lithium, leading to a four-day stay in the emergency room with continuous monitoring and multiple medications. Following that ordeal, I spent another three weeks in psychiatric care, during which the medical team took me off lithium and olanzapine due to the severe risks of liver and kidney damage. Now, shifting gears to my struggle with addiction: approximately six years ago, I fell into a dependency on a chemical opioid known as Tianeptine. While some countries prescribe it for mental health conditions at low doses, my usage escalated to 7-8 grams daily—far beyond safe limits. In the United States, it's not strictly regulated; only a few states have placed it under control. At high doses, this substance mimics potent opioid effects, leading to extreme withdrawal experiences, both physically and psychologically. In fact, I now suffer from seizures as a result of the damage caused by this drug. Recovery was challenging, but medications like Subzolv, Valium, and Lyrica supported me through the initial 90 days. However, I eventually tapered off Valium and underwent various psychological evaluations due to my fluctuating mental health diagnoses over the years. On the physical front, I've been a smoker since I was 14 years old, and now, after two decades, I face severe health issues, including COPD, emphysema, tachycardia, and hypertension. I have also sustained significant injuries; four years ago, I shot off two toes on my right foot, and I previously shattered my right ankle while skateboarding 15 years ago, necessitating metal screws and a plate for support. Unfortunately, the screws have begun to loosen, and I can actually feel the broken bolt protruding through the soft tissue. Weather conditions, especially cold and rain, exacerbate my pain. Additionally, I was stabbed in my calf and right hip by my ex-wife, leading to ongoing instability in my right femur, which dislocates periodically. My history of fighting during my late teens and early twenties resulted in numerous injuries, including severe fractures in my right hand. Without insurance at the time, I could only access emergency room services, leading to subpar healing of my hand's knuckles that now suffer from arthritis and reduced mobility. Feeling increasingly overwhelmed, I often view myself as a broken man. During my manic phases, I can feel invincible—unless anger takes over, leaving me either furious or numb. In contrast, my depressive episodes are profound; I can spend weeks isolated in complete darkness. Aside from Keppra and Lamictal for seizures, I feel lost. I regularly attend therapy sessions and consult a psychiatrist and addiction specialist monthly, while also participating in group therapy once a week. Despite these efforts, mental relief eludes me. Physically, I'm plagued by arthritis, nerve pain, and inflammation, which leave me breathless and feeling aged. On a brighter note, Suboxone has effectively alleviated my withdrawal symptoms without cravings, proving far more manageable than Methadone; I could still misuse Methadone, but Suboxone's strong affinity for opioid receptors prevents that. To anyone who might resonate with my story, I am eager to improve my life and would appreciate any advice or support.

Answers (1)

3/5/2026, 6:10:58 AM

OpenHealth AI

Thank you for sharing such a deep and personal account of your struggles. I want you to know that you are not alone, and it takes great courage to seek help. Your mental health and physical challenges are significant, but there are steps you can take to work toward feeling better.

Main Points:

1. Continue Professional Support: You are actively engaged in therapy and have psychiatric support, which is crucial for managing your mental health.
2. Prioritize Safety: Your previous attempts indicate a serious need for immediate safety measures and ongoing support.
3. Focus on Physical Health: Addressing your physical issues and creating a manageable plan is essential for your overall well-being.

Explanation:

Given the complexities of your situation with bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, and past suicide attempts, maintaining a solid support system is vital. Medicines like Suboxone may help manage withdrawal symptoms but need to be part of a broader mental health strategy that includes psychotherapy and lifestyle changes. Managing your physical health is equally important, especially with underlying issues like COPD, arthritis, and previous injuries.

Actionable Next Steps:

1. Safety First: If you ever feel suicidal again, have a crisis plan in place. This can include a list of emergency contacts (therapist, family, friends) and a dedicated hotline (like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255). Make sure you have these numbers handy.

2. Regular Mental Health Check-Ins: Keep your psychiatric appointments, but consider increasing your frequency if you feel symptoms worsening. Discuss any changes in medication with your psychiatrist, especially if you're struggling with depression or anxiety.

3. Engage in Physical Health Management:

   • Addressing COPD and Emphysema: Speak to your healthcare provider about pulmonary rehabilitation programs, which can improve your physical health and help with breathing exercises.
   • Monitor Physical Symptoms: Make sure to have your foot and the plates in your ankle properly evaluated. Consider seeking a second opinion if you're uncomfortable with the current management.

4. Healthy Lifestyle Choices:

   • Quit Smoking: Explore resources to help you quit smoking. This is a significant step that could improve your overall health and potentially lessen your COPD symptoms.
   • Mindful Physical Activity: Gentle exercises, like walking or swimming, can improve mood and reduce physical pain. Consult a physical therapist for exercises that suit your needs.

5. Nutrition and Hydration: Focus on a balanced diet rich in whole foods, including fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins. Staying hydrated can support your bodily functions and improve mental clarity.

6. Practice Grounding Techniques: During manic or depressive episodes, grounding techniques (like deep breathing or mindfulness) can help you regain control. Resources or apps focusing on mindfulness and meditation can be beneficial.

Remember, reaching out for support and staying consistent with your treatment plan is essential, and small changes can lead to significant improvements over time. Keep pushing forward, and reach out whenever you need to. You truly matter, and there are ways to improve your situation, even if it feels overwhelming now.