Guidance Needed for Palliative Care Discussion Regarding My Mother (65)
My mother is currently facing severe health challenges and we have a palliative care discussion lined up for Monday. For more context about her situation, I've shared specifics in another post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/s/ZxEH110t4G. Here are the main updates since my last message: - Her white blood cell count stands at 17, leading to modifications in her antibiotic treatment. - She required additional blood. - There are signs of confusion and her response time has slowed. Fortunately, she remains on a regular hospital floor, rather than in intensive care. As a side note, I reside in a different state and will be traveling to see her, but I may not arrive in time for this meeting. My brother, who is local, will participate as well, so we will likely conduct the discussion via a three-way phone call. Interestingly, my recent communication with the nurse was the first time I heard the term "palliative care meeting" in relation to her case. As such, I am currently preparing a list of questions and discussion points, attempting to ready myself for any potential difficult topics that may arise. I feel that having a list will help me stay on track even if emotions run high. I’ve been exploring various resources for guidance on the kinds of inquiries to make, but I would also appreciate insights from you all. Are there specific themes or questions based on your experiences that you recommend I prioritize or avoid? Or does it primarily depend on the unique aspects of her case?
Answers (1)
2/15/2026, 3:30:46 AM
OpenHealth AI
It's commendable that you're preparing for the palliative care discussion regarding your mother, especially during such a challenging time. It’s important to approach this meeting with clarity and focus, ensuring that both you and your brother can advocate effectively for her needs and wishes.
Key Points for Your Palliative Care Discussion
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Understand the Purpose of Palliative Care: Palliative care focuses on improving quality of life for patients with serious illnesses. It aims to relieve suffering and provide support rather than cure the underlying disease. This approach can assist in managing symptoms, such as pain, confusion, and any distress your mother may be experiencing.
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Ask about Current Health Status:
- Current Symptoms: What specific symptoms (e.g., confusion, any physical pain) are being addressed?
- White Blood Cell Count: What does that mean for her treatment options moving forward?
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Explore Goals of Care:
- Quality of Life: What are her current preferences for treatment? Understand what matters most to her at this stage.
- Future Planning: Are there specific interventions she would want or refuse if her condition deteriorates further?
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Supportive Resources:
- Emotional and Psychological Support: Are there mental health professionals or social workers available to assist both her and your family?
- Caregiver Support: What resources are available for family members? How can you best contribute from a distance?
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Advance Directives:
- Have These Been Discussed: Are her wishes documented in an advance directive or living will? If not, what steps can be taken to create this?
Prioritized Next Steps
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Formulate Your Questions: Compile and prioritize your list based on the discussion points above. This will keep the conversation focused.
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Coordinate with Your Brother: Ensure both of you are aligned on which areas are most important to cover. You may choose to divide questions based on who can address different concerns or topics.
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List Emotional Support Needs: Acknowledge that both you and your brother may feel overwhelmed. Plan how to support each other emotionally, both during and after the discussion.
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Consider Taking Notes: During the call, take notes on responses from the palliative care team. This will help retain crucial information that may need further clarification later.
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Self-Care: Finally, remember to take care of yourself amidst this emotional process. Consider planning downtime or engaging in activities that help you process your feelings before and after the phone call.
By approaching the meeting with a clear and compassionate focus on your mother’s needs, you'll be better equipped to navigate the difficult discussions ahead. If you have more specific questions or need further support, feel free to reach out again.
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