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Navigating Self-Advocacy During an Oncology Appointment as a Woman Facing Rare Chronic Cancer

2/6/2026, 7:50:24 PMMale25-34

At the age of 33, standing at 5 feet 8 inches and weighing 160 pounds, I've been prescribed Zofran and Lortabs as needed. I’ve been dealing with a myeloproliferative disorder since my teenage years, initially diagnosed with essential thrombocytosis, and later receiving a diagnosis of myelofibrosis when I turned 25. My test results have indicated a Jak 2 negative with a CALR positive mutation. Anxiety and depression have been persistent companions throughout my life. Despite my blood cancer, I have not undergone any treatment thus far. My condition was monitored until four years ago, when my insurance lapsed, prompting me to cease visits since I had been reassured of my low risk and that I’d remain stable until my 60s. My anxiety levels can make it challenging to assess my circumstances clearly. Thankfully, things have improved recently compared to the past. Unfortunately, my myelofibrosis has shown signs of acceleration over the last few months, with noticeable enlargement of my spleen and liver. Since December, I’ve been on medical leave from work; a thorough gastrointestinal examination revealed that my gallbladder is not functioning optimally, leading to a referral to a general surgeon. This coming Monday, I’ll be meeting with an oncologist for the first time since 2022, and I find myself in a state of distress. I worry that my feelings may be exaggerated and that my situation may not warrant such concern. Though I have visited other doctors in the same practice previously, I fear being dismissed or told to adopt a wait-and-see approach, especially given my deteriorating physical condition over recent months. I acknowledge that the earlier decisions were justified, but I regret not staying on top of my health, which might have prevented my needing a GI workup in the first place. Advocating for myself is not something I excel at, as I tend to avoid confrontation. In the past, I felt marginalized due to my age and mental health challenges, and I wished someone would have found a GI-related explanation for my hepatosplenomegaly. I've struggled to accept the possibility that my myelofibrosis is worsening at this young age, particularly when I've just recently advanced in my career and aimed to build a stable life after being told for so long that anxiety was the main issue. Fortunately, my fiancé will accompany me to the appointment, and he has been proactive throughout this journey. He’s prepared notes to help guide the discussion. However, I fear that I might become overwhelmed and appear overly emotional. Others in my support group have recommended seeing a specialist in myeloproliferative neoplasms (MPN), and I am currently in contact with the Mayo Clinic to facilitate the transfer of my medical records. At times, I feel as though I'm being irrational. My expectations for this oncologist's ability to address my concerns are low. Honestly, if my fiancé weren’t coming with me, I might have been hesitant to attend the appointment. It feels surreal; I spent years under the impression that I was ill, only to be told repeatedly that it was merely anxiety, and now my health is genuinely declining. My quality of life has diminished significantly; I've lost 20 pounds since December, and while I can analyze lab results and scans logically, the reality feels daunting. Ultimately, I just want to confront my challenges head-on. I welcome any advice on self-advocacy, effective communication strategies with healthcare providers, or insights related to my circumstances. I apologize if my thoughts seem scattered; I’m genuinely anxious about this upcoming appointment, likely for reasons that may not be entirely rational. My goal is to return to work and to reclaim a sense of normalcy in my life.

Multiple SclerosisCrohn's DiseaseInternal Medicine

Answers (1)

Cony

2/6/2026, 7:50:45 PM

OpenHealth AI

It's entirely understandable to feel anxious before an important oncology appointment, especially given your complex medical history and recent health developments. Here are some essential points and actionable strategies to help you advocate for yourself during your appointment.

Main Points:

  1. Acknowledge Your Concerns: Your feelings of distress about your health are valid, especially with recent changes in your condition.
  2. Prepare for the Appointment: Focus on gathering the right information and communicating your needs effectively.
  3. Use Your Support: Rely on your fiancé's presence to bolster your confidence and ensure you express your concerns.

Explanation:

Your history of myelofibrosis and the worsening symptoms you've described indicate that being proactive is crucial. While anxiety can complicate your perception, it's important to recognize that your concerns are not only rational but also necessary for your health management. Education about your condition and having a good support system can empower you to engage positively with your healthcare team.

Next Steps:

  1. Prepare Questions: Write down specific questions or concerns you have about your myelofibrosis, recent symptoms, and any potential treatment options. Examples might include:

    • "What treatment options are available now considering my symptoms?"
    • "Should I expect further tests to better understand my current condition?"
    • "What lifestyle changes can support my health during this time?"
  2. Share Your Health Changes: Clearly communicate any recent changes in your health, such as the enlargement of your spleen and liver, and the weight loss. This data is critical for the oncologist to understand the urgency of your situation.

  3. Involve Your Fiancé: Encourage your fiancé to help document responses from the doctor and foster discussions to ensure that no critical points are missed. Having him along will provide emotional support and help you remember the information received.

  4. Set a Tone of Collaboration: Approach the appointment with a collaborative mindset. You might say, "I'm concerned about my worsening symptoms and want to actively participate in my health plan. Can we discuss possible strategies moving forward?"

  5. Follow-Up Planning: If you feel uncertain about the next steps after your appointment, consider asking the oncologist for a follow-up plan. This could include arrangements for scheduling future appointments or referrals to specialists, such as the myeloproliferative neoplasms specialist at the Mayo Clinic.

  6. Self-Care Practices: Before your appointment, practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness exercises to help manage anxiety. Ensure you are eating well and staying hydrated to support your overall well-being.

Conclusion

Your health is a priority, and advocating for yourself is an important part of managing your chronic condition. Approach the appointment openly and assertively, and remember that your oncologist is there to help you navigate this journey. You are taking the right steps to regain control of your health, and with your fiancé's support, you'll be better equipped to face this challenge. Trust in your knowledge and feelings; they are important in your care.

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