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Concern for My Grandmother's Well-being

9/11/2025, 9:40:28 PMMale25-34

I apologize for the urgency in this message, but my family and I are in dire need of clarification that we haven’t been able to find in our own research or from our doctors. Last month, my grandmother suffered a stroke. Prior to this incident, she managed her daily needs fairly independently, enjoying foods like Oreos, donuts, chicken sandwiches, and pizza. However, since her stroke, her appetite has drastically diminished. Today, her intake consists solely of a couple of spoonfuls of ice cream to accompany her medication and some water. Weighing in at approximately 96 pounds, her small stature is becoming increasingly noticeable as she continues to eat so little. She seems to think that rest is all she needs, convinced she'll eventually wake up feeling hungry again. We’ve suggested she visit urgent care; although she has seen her doctor and received a referral for a throat scope, an appointment hasn't been set yet. During my recent visit from Monday to Tuesday night, I barely heard her speak more than six words throughout the day. She merely requested her Tylenol and muscle relaxers to help her sleep, but unfortunately, she vomited everything. Her eyes appear dull and glazed, a stark contrast to their usual vibrancy. Her medication regime includes three T3s twice daily (with occasional extra doses), which seem to primarily assist her sleep during these past weeks. Additionally, she takes Amitriptyline at night, Lorazepam twice a day, Crestor with dinner, a blood thinner in the morning, calcium carbonate in the morning, and a muscle relaxer one or two times a day. Recently, she discontinued her blood pressure medication after her readings plummeted from very high to alarmingly low. I can’t shake the feeling that she is nearing the end. She’s resistant to external assistance, genuinely believing that she will miraculously recover soon. On Tuesday night, she asked us to leave, instructing my mother to contact the doctor. It was then that my mother discovered she had been referred for hospice care. Are we being overly dramatic about her condition and feeling the need to spend every moment we can with her? Is there a chance she could recover? What should families do in these heart-wrenching situations? At only 74 years old, she had aspirations of living to 200, and this situation is incredibly disheartening.

LupusCOPDInternal Medicine

Answers (1)

Cony

9/11/2025, 9:40:47 PM

OpenHealth AI

I'm truly sorry to hear about your grandmother's situation. It's clear that you care deeply for her well-being, and navigating this challenging time can be incredibly emotional and difficult for families. It sounds like you're feeling a mix of concern, confusion, and sadness regarding her condition and the changes she's facing since her stroke.

Key Points

  1. Diminished Appetite and Nutrition: Loss of appetite is common after a stroke but can lead to weakness and further health complications.
  2. Concerns About Medication and Side Effects: The number of medications she's taking, along with vomiting, raises concerns about her current condition.
  3. Emotional and Physical Well-being: Your grandmother's belief that she will recover and her resistance to assistance can make the situation more complex.
  4. Hospice Care: Understanding what hospice entails and its focus on comfort rather than recovery may be essential for your family.

Explanation

Strokes can significantly impact a person's ability to eat, communicate, and engage in daily activities. It's not uncommon for stroke survivors to experience changes in appetite and energy levels. The fact that she only eats a couple of spoonfuls of ice cream and has difficulty with hydration is concerning. This could lead to further health issues, including muscle wasting and dehydration.

Given her medications, some could be contributing to her symptoms, especially if they’re not well-tolerated. Vomiting can reduce the effectiveness of her medications, and low blood pressure combined with certain medications may cause confusion and lethargy. The referral to hospice care typically indicates that her healthcare providers prioritize comfort and quality of life over aggressive treatments.

Next Steps

  1. Focus on Nutrition: Encourage her to consume small, nutrient-dense meals if possible. Consider options like smoothies or supplements that offer calories and protein while being easier to swallow.

  2. Monitor Hydration: Ensure she stays hydrated. Offer water, broth, or electrolyte solutions frequently and in small amounts, which she might tolerate better.

  3. Reassess Medications: Discuss the side effects of her current medications with her doctor, especially concerning her vomiting and lethargy. A medication review might be necessary to adjust dosages or change prescriptions.

  4. Emotional Support: Acknowledge her feelings and aspirations while gently encouraging her to accept support, whether emotional or physical. Engaging with a counselor or a support group may also help your family.

  5. Explore Hospice Options: Understanding hospice care can be profoundly helpful. They focus on improving quality of life and providing support not only to your grandmother but also to your family as you navigate this journey together.

Please remember, spending time with her and showing your love during this period is invaluable. It's natural to feel uncertain about whether you are being overly dramatic. Trust your instincts and the information you have; seeking additional support for yourselves during this emotional time is essential. If you feel that these concerns need addressing sooner rather than later, consider reaching out to her healthcare provider to discuss your observations and choose the best path forward together.

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