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Concerns About My Father's Health

7/16/2025, 10:30:54 PMMale25-34

Hello everyone, I have been quietly observing here on behalf of my father. He is a 59-year-old man who has unfortunately suffered from untreated mental health issues over the past 5 to 10 years, which have severely affected his overall well-being. Earlier this January, we had to take him to the hospital, where he was diagnosed with advanced kidney disease—specifically, stage four—with an estimated glomerular filtration rate (eGFR) in the low twenties, though I don’t recall the exact figure. Additionally, he was on the verge of heart failure. For the past five years, his blood pressure readings have consistently exceeded 200. After his hospital stay, he left without really changing his habits. I fear he lacks the motivation to alter his lifestyle, which includes a diet high in fast food, regular consumption of soda, smoking, poor sleep patterns, and intermittent use of methamphetamine. While I'm unsure of the meth's usage frequency, it has been present in his system. He undoubtedly neglects to take any prescribed medications. Recently, he began experiencing a set of troubling symptoms: mental cloudiness, a diminished appetite, frequent urination, nausea, and swelling—indicators often associated with the later stages of kidney and potential heart failure. Out of anxiety, he went to the emergency room but declined admission, choosing instead to leave. Although his condition seemed to improve for a short time, he is now reporting a return of those same symptoms. I am coming to terms with the reality that he is gravely ill. As I search for information online, I find numerous accounts of individuals facing similar health challenges who are actively seeking treatment, which is frustrating given my father's reluctance to pursue any help. How quickly can one's health deteriorate when one is neglecting to take steps in the opposite direction? While I understand that there are no clear-cut answers, I would greatly appreciate any insights that might help prepare me for what lies ahead.

LupusCrohn's DiseaseCOPD

Answers (1)

Cony

7/16/2025, 10:31:12 PM

OpenHealth AI

I'm sorry to hear about your father's situation; it sounds incredibly challenging for both of you. Concerns about serious health issues like advanced kidney disease, heart failure, and the behaviors you're describing understandably create anxiety about his health and future.

Main Points:

  1. Advanced kidney disease and heart failure can lead to rapid health deterioration if not managed.
  2. Lifestyle choices significantly impact his condition, and motivation to change is crucial.
  3. Immediate support and intervention are vital to address his health challenges.

Explanation: Your father’s advanced kidney disease and heart failure are serious conditions that can significantly worsen without proper care and lifestyle changes. When someone has stage four kidney disease, they are at a high risk of complications due to factors like high blood pressure, poor diet, substance use, and neglecting medication. This combination can lead to acute issues such as swelling, nausea, and cognitive changes, as you mentioned. It's important to recognize that deterioration can happen quickly—weeks or even days—if lifestyle factors and symptoms are not addressed.

Prioritized Next Steps:

  1. Encourage a Supportive Conversation: Try to have an open and non-confrontational conversation with your father about his health, emphasizing your concern and love. Understanding the impact of his current choices without judgment can help him open up.

  2. Research Resources: Look into local support groups or mental health resources that can help him with both his mental health and his physical health. Sometimes, engaging with others who struggle with similar issues can motivate change.

  3. Nutritional Changes: Encourage small dietary changes. You might start by suggesting he replace sodas with water or introduce one healthy meal per day. Involving him in meal planning might make it more engaging.

  4. Seek Professional Help: If he is resistant to seeing a doctor, consider contacting a healthcare professional yourself for advice on how best to encourage him to seek care. Palliative care services or home health agencies sometimes provide support to individuals who are hesitant to seek help.

  5. Monitor Symptoms: Keep track of his symptoms and encourage him to do the same. If more severe symptoms arise—like chest pain or severe swelling—express that it’s crucial to seek emergency care.

  6. Explore Motivational Strategies: Discuss the possibility of motivational interviewing strategies that could help him acknowledge his situation more fully and consider taking responsibility for his health.

It’s heart-wrenching to see a loved one struggle, but remember that consistent, gentle encouragement and expressing your concerns from a place of love can be a powerful motivator. You're doing an important job by being there for your father.

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