Struggling with a Compulsive Addiction to Antifreeze
Age 24, height 5'9", weight 150 lbs. Using a disposable account. I realize that what I'm doing is extremely harmful, and I'm fully aware of the severe risks involved. Please, I do not require a lecture on the dangers. Since 2022, I've been consuming antifreeze, specifically ethylene glycol, and I'm trapped in this cycle. To date, I've consumed it around 300 times. There are moments when I manage to go weeks or even months without it, yet the urge to drink it incessantly lingers in my mind. I have explored every possible resource for help, undergone multiple psychological evaluations, and participated in various therapies, but no one has been able to define the underlying issue or provide a viable solution. I’m not currently in a suicidal state; while I have occasionally ingested it with self-harm intentions, I generally do not want to end my life. Nevertheless, I recognize that I am quite possibly jeopardizing my health with these actions. I’ve needed hospitalization five times for overdosing on the substance, yet I haven’t sought out medical attention for my physical well-being aside from that. Desperation is setting in as I can't continue down this path. I feel I am causing damage not only to myself but also to those around me, and I simply cannot find a way to stop. The confusion of my situation drives me to believe I’ve lost my mind—no rational individual would engage in such behavior. Currently, I'm on bupropion and an iron supplement. My existing mental health diagnoses include Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and unspecified anxiety. Previous diagnoses included social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), bipolar disorder type 2, and panic disorder. Though borderline personality disorder (BPD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) have been considered, they remain undiagnosed. Aside from ethylene glycol, I am not using any other substances.
Answers (1)
7/2/2025, 2:40:40 PM
OpenHealth AI
I commend you for reaching out to discuss this deeply challenging situation. Recognizing that you're struggling with a compulsive addiction to antifreeze (ethylene glycol) is a significant and courageous step toward finding help. I understand that your primary concern is finding a way to overcome this addiction while managing your mental health conditions effectively.
Understanding the Situation
Ethylene glycol is a toxic substance, and consuming it poses severe health risks, including organ damage, metabolic issues, and even life-threatening situations. Given your history of overdoses and the emotional turmoil described, it’s crucial to address both the addiction and any underlying mental health issues in a comprehensive way.
Prioritized Next Steps
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Immediate Support: Seek immediate support from a healthcare professional specializing in addiction. This may include contacting a substance use hotline or program specializing in substance dependence. Many facilities provide confidential assistance and can guide you on what's next.
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Develop a Comprehensive Treatment Plan: Work with a mental health professional to establish a treatment approach that includes both your depression and anxiety management along with addressing the compulsive behavior. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) have shown efficacy in such situations.
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Establish a Support Network: Consider joining a support group for individuals dealing with compulsive behaviors or addictions. Sharing experiences with others facing similar challenges can provide a sense of community and accountability.
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Monitor Your Health: Make a plan to undergo regular health check-ups to monitor any physiological impacts of ethylene glycol consumption. If you are at risk of acute complications, having a clear health management strategy is essential.
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Mindfulness and Coping Strategies: Integrate mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, into your routine. These can help reduce anxiety and provide you with coping mechanisms to deal with cravings.
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Build Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Identify and engage in activities that you enjoy and that provide a positive distraction from cravings. This could include hobbies, sports, or volunteering.
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Document Your Experience: Keeping a journal about your feelings, patterns of consumption, and triggers may help you and your healthcare team understand better what prompts your behavior.
Remember, overcoming addiction and managing mental health concerns is a journey filled with ups and downs, and it's crucial to approach it with support and professional guidance. You are not alone in this, and there are people who can help guide you towards a healthier future.
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