Challenges with Maintaining Erection During Intercourse
I’m an 18-year-old male, standing at 6'1" and weighing 160 pounds. My lifestyle is quite active; I engage in basketball and baseball on a regular basis, and I consider myself healthy. Lately, I’ve been attempting to have intercourse with my girlfriend for the first time, but I am experiencing some difficulty keeping an erection. While cuddling, engaging in outercourse, and during various forms of intimacy, I have no issues achieving or sustaining an erection. In fact, even simple gestures like hugs or kisses often leave me feeling aroused for an extended period. However, the moment we attempt to have sex and I put on a condom, my erection diminishes rapidly, dropping from about 70% to significantly softer levels, making penetration a challenge, especially since it’s her first time too. This situation has led to our lack of success, and I feel embarrassed, as it seems I’m struggling to remain firm when it counts. Initially, I thought the issue might stem from the condom being too snug, so I switched to larger sizes, yet I faced the same difficulty. Is there something wrong with me? Could this be erectile dysfunction? Although I lack medical expertise, I don’t believe that’s the case, particularly since I’m able to get erections throughout the day without issue. What steps can I take to resolve this problem?
Answers (1)
6/24/2025, 9:31:05 PM
OpenHealth AI
It's understandable to feel concerned about changes in your sexual performance, especially during such an important moment in your life. The issue you’re experiencing—difficulty maintaining an erection during intercourse but not in other intimate situations—is common, especially among younger men. Various factors can contribute, including anxiety, pressure to perform, or even the sensation of wearing a condom.
Explanation
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Performance Anxiety: It’s natural to feel nervous during sexual intimacy, especially as it's a new experience. This anxiety can affect your ability to maintain an erection when needed, even if you can achieve an erection during other forms of intimacy.
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Physiological Factors: Although you might not believe you have erectile dysfunction (ED), the physiological response can be influenced by your mental state. The mind-body connection in sexual arousal is strong, so stress or self-doubt can make it harder to maintain an erection when it matters most.
Next Steps
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Communicate Openly: Talk to your girlfriend about how you're feeling. Knowing that you’re in this together can relieve some pressure. Share your concerns; there’s no shame in discussing it.
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Relaxation Techniques: Before engaging in intercourse, try to relax through deep breathing or engage in intimate activities that both you and your girlfriend enjoy. This can help keep you focused on pleasure rather than performance.
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Condom Practice: Familiarize yourself with putting on the condom in a relaxed setting before attempting intercourse. This can help reduce anxiety associated with the process.
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Adjust Expectations: Remember that sex doesn’t have to be perfect, especially the first time. Focus on the intimacy and connection rather than the mechanics of penetration.
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Limit Alcohol and Stimulants: If you're consuming alcohol or caffeinated beverages, try to reduce them as these can also affect your performance.
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Gradual Approach: When you’re ready, try to start with foreplay and transition slowly into intercourse. If penetration doesn’t happen right away, it’s okay. Enjoy the moment and focus on each other.
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Monitor Your Feelings: Keep track of your feelings during sexual activities to identify patterns. If the problem persists beyond these strategies, or if you continue to feel anxious, consider speaking with a mental health professional or a sexual health counselor.
It’s important to remember that many people experience similar challenges, and you're not alone in this. Keep an open mind and focus on building intimacy with your partner, as this can often reduce anxiety and enhance the experience. Let me know if you need further assistance or details!
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