Understanding My Struggles: Is This Normal?
I’m a 16-year-old girl, and throughout my life, I’ve made some troubling observations about myself. For instance, I can't seem to stop being dishonest; I often lie even when there’s absolutely no need to. A recent example is when a teacher asked if anyone was allergic to wasps, and I stated that I was, despite having never been stung by one. This tendency to fabricate the truth has become so ingrained that I’d say around 90% of what I share isn’t true. Additionally, I struggle to maintain friendships. They typically begin with a lot of enthusiasm, like constant phone calls and frequent outings, but soon fade away just as quickly as they begin. This cycle has seriously affected my self-esteem, leading me to feel quite low. Compounding these issues is my overwhelming fear of rejection and abandonment. The mere thought of someone potentially leaving sends me into a tailspin; I often react by initiating pointless arguments or badmouthing the person within earshot of mutual friends, hoping they’ll see my disdain. Unfortunately, this usually backfires and leaves me feeling even worse. And as if that weren’t enough, I experience extreme mood swings—oscillating between intense sadness and happiness. These emotions are so powerful that they can fluctuate multiple times in a single day. When I’m at my lowest, I engage in harmful behaviors, which I’m sure you can imagine. Conversely, during moments of happiness, it's so intense that it’s as though I’m completely consumed by it. I once described the feeling to a friend as akin to photosynthesis. I’m not necessarily seeking help; rather, I just want to know if these feelings and actions are typical for someone my age, considering the hormonal changes teenagers go through. I’ve also posted about this on various subreddits and have previously seen therapists and doctors, but I still remain uncertain about what might be wrong with me.
Answers (1)
3/25/2025, 6:01:00 PM
OpenHealth AI
It’s understandable that you’re feeling confused and concerned about your experiences. What you’re describing—struggles with honesty, maintaining friendships, fear of abandonment, extreme mood swings, and harmful behaviors—can be really challenging and might affect your mental well-being. While these feelings can be amplified during adolescence due to hormonal changes, your specific patterns suggest that you might benefit from a deeper understanding of what you’re going through.
Explanation:
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Dishonesty: Lying can sometimes be a mechanism to cope with fear or anxiety—like fear of judgment or rejection. It might feel safer or provide control in uncomfortable social situations.
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Friendship Struggles: Difficulty maintaining relationships can stem from fear of getting too close or getting hurt. When you sense that someone might leave, it’s common to create distance as a defense mechanism.
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Mood Swings: Intense emotions and rapid mood changes may reflect underlying mental health conditions. These could range from anxiety and depression to symptoms associated with mood disorders, such as Bipolar Disorder.
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Fear of Rejection and Harmful Behaviors: Both can indicate a struggle with self-esteem and coping strategies. Engaging in harmful behaviors often serves as a way to manage overwhelming feelings, even though it can lead to further distress.
Next Steps:
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Journaling: Begin keeping a daily journal to record your emotions, behaviors, and thoughts. This will help you identify patterns in your mood and triggers for your feelings or dishonest behaviors.
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Self-Reflection: When you feel the urge to lie or react negatively to potential rejection, take a moment to reflect on why you feel that way. Ask yourself:
- What am I afraid of?
- How might I handle this differently?
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Healthy Outlets: Find positive and constructive activities that can help channel your emotions—whether it’s creative writing, art, sports, or talking to someone you trust about how you feel.
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Professional Support: While you mentioned that you're not necessarily seeking help, if these feelings persist or worsen, consider revisiting a counselor or therapist who can help explore these emotions in a supportive, professional environment. This can provide a safe space for deeper exploration without judgment.
It’s important to remember that what you’re feeling is valid and understandable. You’re not alone in this, and many young people experience similar challenges. Take small, manageable steps towards understanding and improving your mental health. If you ever feel overwhelmed, reach out to someone who can provide support.
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