OpenHealth Q&A

Seeking Guidance for My Father's Mental Health Crisis

Dad, aged 68, is currently in a mental health predicament. After retiring around four years ago, he exhibited a troubling incident last Thursday when he dressed for work, gathering everything necessary for a night shift—except for his security badge. Here’s a brief overview of his medical background: For nearly four decades, my father avoided consulting any medical professionals. He struggles with alcoholism, claiming to consume one beer every hour throughout the day, although he insists he never drinks before work. Additionally, he smokes approximately two packs of cigarettes daily. About five years prior, a dental appointment highlighted a serious issue; his blood pressure reached an alarming 280 over 160, prompting the dental staff to call for an ambulance—an effort he vehemently declined. They strongly encouraged an ER visit, but he refused again. After retiring approximately four years ago, his drinking increased. By three years ago, his dentist flat-out refused him treatment due to persistent high blood pressure. He also expressed interest in a vision procedure, which was denied because of his hypertension. Eventually, Dad established a relationship with a primary care doctor, who managed to lower his blood pressure through medication, although it remained dangerously high at around 180 over 120. During initial bloodwork, he was diagnosed with Hepatitis C—a condition likely contracted from my mother, also a carrier, before their divorce in the mid-1980s. While the physician suggested a liver biopsy, he declined, and although he did inquire about a liver x-ray, he ultimately failed to follow through on getting it. He hasn't sought treatment for Hep C and stopped seeing his doctor about a year ago, citing side effects from blood pressure medication that he claimed caused bruising on his arms. I suspect he is experiencing some degree of liver failure. My first inquiry is regarding the signs and symptoms indicative of the seriousness of his condition. Some symptoms I note include: - Fluctuating yellowing of the eyes - Bruising on his arms resembling a liver-related skin issue, persisting for 2 to 3 years - High blood pressure - Noticeable weight loss - Severe acne - Abdominal swelling - Significant loss of appetite, with him often stating he hasn't eaten in three days or more - Swelling in his ankles - Confusion and disorientation - Unsteadiness while standing - Abdominal pain on the lower right side - Intense neck pain - Memory decline My second question is about his refusal to seek medical help. I've exhausted all efforts to help him comprehend that he retired some time back. His only support systems are his brother, who lives across the country, and me. He lacks friendships or romantic relationships, not having a partner in over 30 years. He's unwilling to acknowledge the reality of his retirement, saying instead that he is on an extended vacation—claiming his narrative has shifted several times. Recently, he expressed disbelief in what both his ex-coworkers and I have said. Last Thursday, a security officer called me, stating Dad was at his former workplace and asking if I could convince him to return home. I urged him to go to the ER, explaining he was confused—a suggestion he adamantly rejected. Eventually, I persuaded him to leave his old job site by enticing him to search for his paycheck stubs, which we looked for unsuccessfully for over 30 minutes. I showed him bank statements without any deposits from his former employment, but he still tried to return to work. I had no option but to call the police to prevent him. When they arrived, they assessed his condition and determined he wasn’t ill enough to mandate a hospital visit, observing he could recall answers and recognized me. They suggested I stay with him that night; however, I declined due to a history of past abuse I endured at his hands. He continues to relay his confusion whenever his brother or I attempt to communicate with him. I reached out to adult protective services, but they lacked the authority to compel him to seek medical attention. He does not possess a diagnosed mental health condition, making it impossible to pursue guardianship. What options do I have? Is there a specific resource that could assist in this dire situation? Currently, the suggestion is that he either needs to become significantly worse, commit an unlawful act, or willingly visit a doctor. I struggle with the thought of passively observing as his condition deteriorates. My anxiety stems from the potential of a car accident or him unintentionally harming himself or others before reaching a threshold of illness necessitating hospital care. Typically, breaking through a delusion is discouraged; however, I need him to recognize his need for assistance, ideally prompting a visit to the doctor, as I fear my worst scenarios may unfold otherwise. Given his past experiences with healthcare providers, I worry that only a serious shock will prompt him to seek help. Thank you in advance for any guidance you can provide; my desperation for a solution is profound.

Answers (1)

3/24/2025, 2:51:30 AM

OpenHealth AI

I'm very sorry to hear about your father's struggles; it sounds incredibly challenging, and your concern for his well-being is evident. Your worries are legitimate given his mental and physical health issues. Let's address both your inquiries regarding his condition and what you can do to seek care for him.

Main Points

1. Signs of Serious Condition: Your father is exhibiting several concerning symptoms that may indicate severe liver issues and mental health decline.
2. Approaching Treatment: Encouraging him to seek help is vital but complex, given his reluctance.

1. Signs and Symptoms of Serious Condition

Your father's symptoms suggest significant health concerns, particularly regarding his liver and mental state. Here are key signs to watch for:

• Confusion and Disorientation: This could indicate hepatic encephalopathy, a condition arising from liver issues affecting cognition.
• Yellowing of the Eyes (Jaundice): This indicates a buildup of bilirubin due to potential liver failure.
• Bruising and Swelling: Both can be signs of liver dysfunction related to blood clotting issues.
• Weight Loss and Loss of Appetite: These may point towards underlying liver disease or another serious illness.
• Abdominal Symptoms: The swelling and pain could indicate fluid retention or other liver issues.

Given the combination of his symptoms, he needs medical attention urgently. Symptoms might worsen without intervention.

2. Encouraging Medical Help

Navigating his refusal for medical help is incredibly challenging, especially considering past trauma in your relationship. Here are some specific steps you might take:

• Express Concern Without Confrontation: When approaching him, try to communicate your worries in a manner that focuses on care rather than confrontation. Use "I" statements like, "I'm worried about your health because I love you."

• Utilize Trusted Individuals: If there's someone he respects or who has a rapport with him (like his brother), consider involving them. Sometimes, messages from different people can have a more persuasive effect.

• Explore Alternative Support Services: Look for community outreach programs or mental health services in your area that specialize in elder care or intervention strategies. These organizations may have resources or personnel trained to deal with similar situations.

• Professional Guidance: Engage with a social worker or mental health professional (even consult without him present) who specializes in addiction or elderly care. They can provide tailored advice on how to approach him.

• Health Emergency Services: If his condition appears to worsen or if he becomes a danger to himself or others, do not hesitate to call emergency services again. Sometimes a situation can escalate to a level that necessitates intervention.

• Crisis Intervention: If you feel the situation is dire, consider reaching out to nearby crisis intervention services. They can often provide immediate help and advice on dealing with someone in crisis who is unwilling to seek help.

Take care of your own mental health as you navigate these challenges, and don’t hesitate to seek support for yourself as well. This is a heavy burden you’re carrying, and you deserve support too. If you need further assistance or specific resources in your area, feel free to ask.