Were the Doctors Judging Me?
As a mother of a seven-year-old boy (weighing 65 pounds and quite tall for his age), I've noticed some unusual symptoms in him over the past month. The issues began gradually, escalating in severity until I became quite alarmed during the last three nights. His primary complaints involved chest discomfort and an accelerated heart rate. He frequently expressed that he wasn’t feeling like himself, describing a sense of strangeness. To better understand his condition, I posed several open-ended questions so he could convey his feelings without leading him to any specific answers. Alongside the chest pain and rapid heart rate, he experienced headaches and episodes of pressure in his chest after napping and during recess. He even started falling asleep in class, which is unusual since he hadn’t taken naps since he was two. Additionally, he exhibited signs of shakiness, dizziness, lightheadedness, and shortness of breath, and I was alarmed to see dark circles under his eyes despite having adequate sleep. Disturbing, right? So, I turned to Google to find any connections to his symptoms, despite knowing it might heighten my anxiety. Ultimately, even though I suspected the issues weren’t related to dire health concerns, the combination of symptoms prompted me to seek medical attention. Upon arriving at the hospital, the staff seemed to treat my concerns with disdain. The nurses who measured his vitals laughed among themselves regarding the EKG they were preparing, displaying a rude demeanor toward us. Their reaction seemed to imply that I was overreacting as a concerned parent. I understood that it was a busy ER on a Monday night, where many patients are in life-threatening conditions, so perhaps they thought that someone without visible trauma was simply wasting resources. After conducting tests, my son’s results returned normal, leaving the doctors without conclusive answers. The physician mentioned various possibilities, attributing the symptoms perhaps to a virus, allergies, a cold, or asthma, yet delivered these opinions in a rather brusque manner. Eventually, we returned home feeling somewhat defeated. Upon reviewing the paperwork provided to us, I found included information regarding opioid overdoses. This was puzzling because I had rushed out of the house late in the evening without much thought given to my appearance and was feeling quite low due to my struggles with depression—having not showered, my hair was unkempt, and my complexion had its usual breakouts due to PCOS. I was dressed casually in a tie-dye sweatshirt, loose beige sweats, and crocs. I can’t help but wonder whether the treatment we received was influenced by their assumptions about me. Did they attach those overdose sheets thinking I might be a drug user? The embarrassment I feel at this possibility is overwhelming, leaving me wondering what the medical staff truly thought of our family. Even though I’m relieved my son is okay—that was my primary concern—I’m deeply hurt if their judgment was rooted in preconceived notions about me. It’s a harsh reality to face, and I’m left feeling like I want to retreat from the world in light of this experience.
Answers (1)
3/18/2025, 7:10:57 AM
OpenHealth AI
I’m truly sorry to hear about your stressful experience with your son’s health and the way you felt treated at the hospital. It's completely understandable to feel hurt and concerned given the circumstances, and you’re not alone in feeling this way. Your primary focus as a mother is on your child’s well-being, and seeking medical help for any concerning symptoms is a responsible action.
Understanding Your Experience
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Your Son’s Symptoms: It’s important to note that the symptoms you described—chest discomfort, accelerated heart rate, headaches, and unusual fatigue—can be alarming, especially in a child. These can occur due to a variety of benign issues like anxiety, stress, or viral infections, but they definitely warrant a thorough investigation. Your instincts as a parent were correct in seeking medical attention.
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Feeling Judged: Unfortunately, you encountered a situation where the medical staff’s demeanor did not reflect the compassion and understanding you deserved. This can happen in busy environments, and while it doesn’t excuse their behavior, a busy ER can sometimes affect the way healthcare professionals interact with patients and families. Your feelings about possibly being judged based on your appearance or demeanor are valid; it can be frustrating and disheartening.
Next Steps to Consider:
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Monitor Your Son’s Symptoms: Continue to observe your son for any recurring symptoms, including the chest discomfort, rapid heartbeat, or feelings of dizziness. Keeping a record of these symptoms—when they happen, their severity, and any potential triggers—can be helpful for future medical discussions.
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Follow-Up Care: If the symptoms continue or worsen, seek a follow-up appointment with a pediatrician. It may also be useful to explore referrals to specialists (like a pediatric cardiologist or a pediatric allergist) for further evaluation. Bring along the documentation you've kept so you can discuss the patterns you've observed.
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Self-Care and Support: Recognizing the stress this situation has caused you is important. It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed, especially when worried about your child’s health. Consider finding a support system—talking to family or friends who can listen to your experience, or connecting with a therapist who specializes in parental stress can be beneficial. This can help alleviate feelings of embarrassment and judgment, and provide you with a safe space to express your emotions.
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Reaching Out for Help: If you find yourself feeling persistently anxious, overwhelmed, or struggling with feelings tied to your experience in the ER, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. Seeking help for depression and stress can empower you and provide strategies to cope with these difficult feelings.
Remember, you did the right thing by seeking medical help for your son. Advocate for his health and well-being, and don’t hesitate to speak up if you feel your concerns aren’t being addressed in future healthcare encounters. You're a caring mother, and that matters.
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